“Krone” helps with the decoration – ORF summer conversations: it immediately looks better

Herbert Kickl compared it to a ‘Stasi interrogation room’, and the interlocutors in front of it in the ‘ORF bunker’ resembled kidnapping victims on a confession video rather than party leaders in public service. Grandma’s coffee table, two armchairs, a Möbelix lamp – the windowless broom closet is ready. Interior designer: probably Stephen King. We don’t want to leave it that way and have graphically redecorated the booth with the charm of the outhouse. Well, dear ORF – looks better. We would have:

• In line with the SPÖ climate strategy, especially the capital’s love for concrete: the fur of a recycled brown bear for the cuddly pre-talk about Babler’s favorite hobby, growing back. Killed by Georg Dornauer, who otherwise only shoots money.

• SPÖ red carpet, nice and woolly and with the advantage that – no matter how many hackles there are from our own ranks – stains on the fabric are difficult to see.

• Portrait of Karl Marx in a picture frame – for worship or distance depending on Babler’s mood of the day.

• Dream catcher on the floor lamp for a peaceful sleep in case moderator Susanne Schnabl or Andreas Babler fall asleep during the conversation. Also recommended for viewers at home.

• Standing calendar that ends on Thursday because it’s the weekend after 32 hours of work. Reason: The floor is already free on Friday.

• A television that shows classic trivial formats after the trivial programs, such as the 43rd rerun of the 19th episode of the 28th season of The Simpsons.

• Winkekatze – brings money even without work. Request from ORF and SPÖ.

• A cannabis plant. Further explanation unnecessary.

• Photo of ORF General Roland Weißmann – mandatory in all studios, just like the Federal President in the school classes.

And a few other things. Dear ORF, we are happy to help with the refurbishment.