The mother of journalist and writer, Emilia Aria, the grandmother of chocolate, was fun and cheerful, loved spending time with her granddaughter and making cakes and pastries. When Nina was born, Maribel, the real name of Chocolate Grandma, “quickly joined hands to invent sweet recipes.” When Jota was raised, Maribel became a grandmother for the second time: “More grandmothers, more caramel in her eyes, more cake recipes and more chocolate, her favorite. Now for two. “
One day, in the middle of the prison, after Maribel smelled the flowers and picked cherries on her plot, her heart stopped. You have not seen it for a long time, with a great desire to do so, and you could never do it. “La abuelita de chocolate” (Babidu-bú, 2021) is a story written by Emilia Arias to explain to her children the death of her grandmother, as well as part of a ritual to remember her and remember her. Because according to Aria, the grandmother went up halfway to the star to climb the star and be a “stellar grandmother” every time she misses and looks at the sky, or a “chocolate grandmother” every time she tastes sweets.
Maribel was planning to go to Bilbao, to her daughter’s house, with her granddaughter Nina, and to meet her new granddaughter, Jota, three years old, who had just been raised in foster care. But a pandemic landed and locked up with him. “My mother was a public servant, she was cleaning the areas where COVID-19 patients were isolated in the social health center. “So the plans failed,” said Emilia Arias. Locked Creatures and Grandma Maribel work. “To save the distance, we connected the phone to the TV and made video calls. “He sang their songs, told stories and showed how the flowers came out,” he said. Jota only met her new grandmother digitally, but thanks to the photos, live memory and story, both Jota and Nina have it in mind and her memory is enduring.
“When my mother died, I was shocked, it was sudden and completely unexpected. Including exacerbating the pandemic. “I told Nina about it and she was terribly upset,” said the journalist. He says that he tried to explain the death “in the words of a girl who was three years old at the time, but with some metaphor to make it easier for her. Arias realized that neither Nina nor Jota understood this to the end because they thought that at some point Maribel was going to return.
“Now, at the age of five or six, they understand that when the heart stops, you stop living. And to stop living means to stop laughing, talking or being. “But then they did not have the tools to understand that,” he said. The journalist started searching for words and tools to tell his children about the death, but could not find it, noting: “It is difficult because we, even the adults, did not fully understand and explained what death is. . ”
Writing the story served the author as a process of his own grief, as well as having a tool to speak of Maribel’s death. “Adults, even among us, do not talk about death and its pain. “There is a rejection of grief processes and a wonderful culture of always being well,” he said.
And the question is: Is it good for us? Does self-imposed or socially imposed silence cure us? Can you help us handle the loss? Carmen Matteo is a psychologist and writer of children’s literature and is rude: “Silence will not be corrected. We need to talk about what is happening to us and feel supported as part of the grief process. ”
Matteo is consulting at his own center in Del Rosal, Canada, and is studying childhood grief. He says that boys and girls should be told “sincerely” about death and adjust the information to the level of maturity of the creatures. “If a child is at an age when he cognitively understands that humans cannot be in the stars, even when they are dying, the information that needs to be given to him must be real,” he said. Explained with tact, love and care, but as close as possible to the current situation.
The psychologist notes that “early childhood is more mystical and fantastic information, but then they have to deliver messages that are true.” Matteo believes that the stellar resource that tells them that there are people who are dying acts for the realm of literature and the imagination, but as soon as the story is read, if a boy or girl can cognitively understand, an adult must accompany it. Question by definition.
“I recommend that the message be adjusted soon. I have a two year old daughter and when her father died, I did not say she was a star. The truth is ahead: there is no grandfather. Because what happens when they realize that he is not in the star or that the stars are not going to come to see them? This is exactly what happens to the protagonist of the children’s book “Grandpa’s Journey” (Diego Pun Ediciones).
Literature is a means of communication, it is an excuse to sit down with a child and discuss a topic. “La abuelita de chocolate is a great book to talk about death, but then you have to separate the metaphor from reality and continue to work on it with the children,” he said. “People need the processes to be the best they can be. The rituals of duels are to close and to perceive the irreversibility of loss,” she says.
Separating creatures from the afterlife or telling them half-truths can be counterproductive. The psychologist advises that if the boy or girl is trained, they are present, but with an adult who observes and listens to them. “It is important to accompany their emotions and give them space to express what they feel. “Give them the confidence to cry or talk when necessary and tell them that anger or sadness is normal,” he said.
Carmen Matteo advised the story of Emilia Aria on several of her patients and on her social networks “with respect to the way she treats death” and because she “sees a way” to talk about the process of losing a loved one. Literature conceals and protects dialogue so that mother / father-child / child embraces comfort and correction.
Source: El Diario
I am Ida Scott, a journalist and content author with a passion for uncovering the truth. I have been writing professionally for Today Times Live since 2020 and specialize in political news. My career began when I was just 17; I had already developed a knack for research and an eye for detail which made me stand out from my peers.
