Research shows: girls are more often favorite children

For the study, an American-Canadian research duo evaluated 30 studies and databases on this topic. A German expert praises the study, which was published in the journal ‘Psychological Bulletin’ – but the results should be interpreted with caution given the complexity of family processes, he says.

“Researchers have known for decades that unequal treatment by parents can have lasting consequences for children,” said lead author Alexander Jensen of Brigham Young University in Provo, Utah, in a statement in the journal. “This study helps us understand which children are more likely to be advantaged – which can have both positive and negative effects.”

Little research into favorite child types
Research shows that people who were favored by their parents during childhood are more psychologically stable. They are also more successful professionally, are more likely to have long-term relationships and are less likely to have behavioral problems. But until now, little research has been done into the question of which children are more likely to be favored, write Jensen and McKell Jorgensen-Wells of Western University in London, Canada (province of Ontario).

To find out, the duo evaluated studies and databases totaling nearly 20,000 participants, mostly from the US and Western Europe. They took into account, among other things, the order of siblings, gender and character traits.

Effects only slightly pronounced, but visible
Martin Diewald of Bielefeld University praises the research as “well done”. “Contrary to other works, children from different families were not compared with each other, but with real brothers and sisters,” the sociologist explains.

According to the analysis, parents prefer girls over boys – and surprisingly, this applies not only to mothers, but also to fathers. In addition, conscientious, responsible children are more likely to be favored, the report continues. In both cases the effects are only slightly pronounced. However, parents should be aware of this, the duo writes.

Pleasant children make many things easier
“Parents make differences, often unconsciously,” explains Diewald, who was not involved in the study. “And parents are more likely to develop a more trusting relationship with social children – because that makes many things easier.”

But that does not necessarily mean that parents love the rest of their offspring less, the expert emphasizes, and gives an example: mothers and fathers, for example, could especially support a so-called underprivileged child – because it is weaker or less talented – in order to equal life chances.

Unequal treatment is often unconscious
However, this should not be perceived as a disadvantage by the brothers and sisters. An experienced setback can have lifelong consequences, for example for self-confidence, says Diewald. This was reflected in the collaboration.

Children need to know that unequal treatment can also happen unconsciously. “Experienced insults are often not intended that way,” Diewald emphasizes. “Parents usually try to do justice to their children.”

To avoid misunderstandings, they must make their behavior transparent to their offspring. Lead author Jensen also emphasizes this aspect: “It is crucial to ensure that all children feel loved and supported.”