The Wolf, in privacy

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In ‘Secrets of Confession’, on sale from Thursday 24, ETA infiltrator Mikel Lejarza speaks for the first time about his personal life with espionage expert Fernando Rueda. This is an exclusive preview of the explosive sequel to ‘I confess’

Mikel Lejarza, whose legendary infiltration into ETA is now 50 years old, and the espionage expert Fernando Rueda have written ‘Secrets of Confession’, in which the most prestigious Spanish spy has agreed for the first time to talk about his private life and , more so , ask relatives and spy partners to share the very hard shared experiences and their intimate feelings. This is an exclusive preview of the explosive sequel to ‘Yo confesso’ that Roca Editorial will release on November 24.

Mikel wouldn’t talk about his family, his friends, his childhood, the good times and the bad. She didn’t want to when we wrote ‘I Confess’ and now she has agreed, for the first time in her life, to open the window to the most intimate and personal part of her life. The portrait of a mythical character like El Lobo would not have been completely signed to history without those brushstrokes of the people who have always loved him, regardless of the suffering he may have inflicted on them without ever wanting to.

Mari Luz and María Jesús have never met anyone outside of their immediate family to talk about their memories and, more complicatedly, they have not let out of their hearts the feelings they have been stashing away for so many years. Fortunately for me they are very different, I see them as two drops, but not of water, but of a wine that has fermented over the years and resulted in two women who adore each other and who adore their brother . But they are marked in a different way by the complicated and contradictory situation of being the sisters of El Lobo, that infiltrated agent who has done so much damage to ETA. They completely coincide in the fear of the unknown, the need to be silent, not to attract attention, the desire to spend time with their brother and constantly repeat to him, whenever they have the opportunity, to take care of themselves, not to let them wait…

In five hours of intense conversation, they never mention the word ETA or directly refer to the infiltration. It takes me a while to discover the true meaning of an oft-repeated phrase: “We’ve never liked talking about politics.” Actually, the hidden meaning, at least the one I see, is almost always this: we never liked talking about what my brother did.

My brother told us that he went to France to get his degree in honors, he didn’t tell us the truth, even my parents didn’t know. We found out much later what he had actually done within ETA. Maybe my parents could sense something because a blood uncle, a brother of my mother, Canuto, who was related to the police, was the one who put him in touch with his first contacts.

Miguel used to go to phone booths in France to call our house in Basauri and then he would talk to my parents, but not to us. The aitas did not know exactly where he was, but they did not interfere in political matters. If we didn’t know anything when you went to France, then we don’t. He returns to Spain and we still don’t know anything. It’s time later when we start hearing things on the radio.

We found out when that Madrid thing happened. We found out when we heard and saw the announcement of many arrests. And because a few days later, all of Basauri was covered with posters with our brother’s face. From then on and for the next several years we had a really bad time, we had a terrible time. We walked down the street and couldn’t get past the wanted signs.

When the streets of the Basque Country were wallpapered in 1975, we lived with our parents. We feel a lot of fear and anxiety that something will happen to him. But we also got scared of people. Our father went to work early in the morning and at that time there were no buses or means of transport, so he had to walk and cross Galdácano alone with empty tracks. He walked past the national carriage and told how sometimes footsteps followed him, they followed him. Nothing ever happened to him, but we were scared. Sometimes the newspaper also mentioned the address of my parents’ apartment: “This is where Mikel Lejarza’s parents live.” We felt watched. We have always suffered that fear for him and for us. The two of us always have to hide our thoughts and pretend we’re not ourselves. What he’s done can’t be done by anyone, we’ve always been impressed by what he told us about how he didn’t sleep for them during the infiltration in case he messed up in his dreams.

Mari Luz.- I remember the first boyfriend I had was at that time and he left me because of it. He was a peneuvist, but I think it was mostly because of the fear he had. Then I had my husband, who was a politician, but who always got on well with my brother.

Mikel Lejarza- When I left home I started living on my own, and they were still kids. Although years passed before I infiltrated ETA, we didn’t have an intense coexistence, I was a bit detached. I rarely saw them, I did not experience their childhood, when they started their stage with friends and their stories. What we really shared was their childhood, they don’t forget it and they love me as much as they do. At that stage I was a father to them. They have always had a special line with me, very special.

ML- It doesn’t come from the constancy of togetherness, from coexistence.

ML- The fear…, the absence.

ML- Let’s see, I never thought about it, and the truth is I don’t know why I didn’t think about it.

ML- I’ve asked myself if I’ve been selfish, if I went into a job knowing it could harm my family, before and after. Have I been selfish? Should those of us who devote ourselves to this work be people without families? I’ve often asked myself, Fernando.

ML- I can’t find it.

ML- It didn’t even occur to me, I don’t know how to explain it to you properly. Now that you tell me, I think about it and say: “How selfish of me! How will they have lived it?” How badly did I pass it on to all the people who were part of my personal life. Those are my ghosts. The impact this has had on my whole family, on my children who just can’t get over the fact that their father was this and that I don’t know in what sense they can’t get over it in the sense that my father is famous or if my father has always lived hidden like a rat, I don’t know. Deep down I worry if it’s selfish. At this point I wonder, before I didn’t think about it.

I’m going to clarify one thing for you: he was careful in that he informed me if my parents and sisters had had any problems with people from the Basque Country. They once got an ugly one from a person, I don’t know if they told you, that person didn’t do anything ugly after a while and was nice to them, but one day he showed up with his head in bandages.

ML- My sisters were worried, but my parents wouldn’t tell you how they were… I imagine, come on.

ML- I’ll tell you something, this is hard to understand, but from the beginning I was convinced that they wouldn’t hurt my parents or my sisters.

ML- It was a feeling I had inside. I was always convinced, I can’t explain why, but they were careful, they didn’t mess with them at all, not just with the organization, but with the city where they lived. After I hung my libels all over the Basque country, my god, they didn’t boycott them or make them ugly. I wasn’t afraid that would ever happen. Maybe they might think we can mess with their families too, maybe I’ll never know. Man I knew my parents and my sisters had to live there to see things, I knew that, but I thought it wouldn’t go on from there.

ML- The one who stays is the one who suffers. What’s screwed up is that I’ve been going up north for many years and sometimes I’ve run into people from my family and I haven’t been able to say hello to them, they haven’t even noticed, because of course I tried to camouflage myself as much as possible. We already mentioned that I ran into my aunt, but I also ran into my sisters, I’ve seen my parents from a distance and sometimes I couldn’t resist going to see them at home.

ML- One time between the years 1979-1980 I went with Eduardo, the boy I had with me, and we stopped the car there, went to the apartment and stayed with them for a while. After a while I said to Eduardo, “Let’s run,” and we ran. The man from the bar next to the house had already reported that a car had arrived from Madrid, because we also gave cante. Mine, for everyone in the service but me, they put the reserved registration, but if they went to Bilbao, they put the Bilbao; if they went to San Sebastián, those in San Sebastián. We ran away, and the tip was of no use: when people appeared, we were already very far away. Even if people from ETA don’t come to you, thirty people from the city show up and what do you do, get a clean shot there?

ML- Operation Lobo is the biggest blow ETA has taken in its history, and they have never been able to deal with it. They know very well that I was not in a relationship, it is a lie. It’s impossible for my parents to say anything, they’re already dead and they didn’t even want to hear about ETA. Failing to achieve their goals, they tried to break El Lobo’s figure. They decreed a death for life for me and decorated the Basque Country with posters with my picture. But you don’t end up with a person from an intelligence service that quickly. I started in the Secret Service with a contract as a police inspector, that is, contrary to what they say.

Source: La Verdad

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