Hundreds of thousands of Ukrainian women have fled abroad since the start of the war. However, their husbands are still at home, defending the homeland. How are love relationships possible under such circumstances, or is it possible at all? Ukrainian women have given insight into their private lives – and the stories couldn’t be more different.
Maria last saw her husband in March 2022. Together they survived the first nights of the war. In Zaporizhia in the basement. Until the couple decided that Maria and her son should move to Germany to live with her husband’s relatives. However, the marriage did not survive. “I tried to keep the relationship going,” Maria (the name has changed, note) tells N-TV.
“But then my husband told me in September that he couldn’t trust me anymore because we hadn’t seen each other for so long.” Their marriage ended after seventeen years. Her husband’s relatives would not have supported her in Germany. Moreover, her husband was morbidly jealous. “My husband tried to control all my movements through a video link,” says Maria. “He wanted me to come to Ukraine often with my son to visit him. But I wondered: how much money?” Because she would have to spend 400 euros a month just for the apartment and then not have much left for life. “It all became unbearable,” she concluded.
Partners change
While long-distance relationships are generally an important test of endurance, there are other components involved as well. Because the living conditions of the partners are characterized by great differences. The men who remain behind in Ukraine witness the horrors of the war with their own eyes. The women, on the other hand, have to build a completely new life abroad. Often they do not even speak the local language, are in a bad financial situation and have to overcome major bureaucratic hurdles.
22-year-old Viktoria (name has been changed, ed.) Also suffers a lot from the circumstances. “We often got into fights because we changed during this time.” Her boyfriend fights as a soldier in eastern Ukraine, she lives in Germany. “That is why our interests, goals and plans have changed.” Part of her friend was involved in fierce fighting for days and could not be reached. When they finally reached each other, Viktoria heard gunshots in the background. She almost went crazy with worry, she admits in an interview with n-tv.
Vacation in Ukraine
If there were no fears, the relationship would still be very complicated, says Viktoria. “It is difficult to coordinate because we can rarely call each other because there are often connection problems. It is not possible to talk to each other in peace, discuss all events, give and receive advice.” But they agreed that they wanted to build a future together.To be able to spend time together at least once in a while, the couple plans a holiday together in Ukraine every three months.
Despite all the obstacles, Veronika (name has been changed) wants to stay with her partner. “Our relationship was and remains close,” she says. When war broke out, her husband insisted that she move to Canada to live with her sister. He was very afraid of her. “I have always felt a lot of love and care from him. I know how important our family is to him and that makes me love him even more.” They are in daily contact, which can be managed relatively well with text and voice messages. “Sometimes we go for a walk together – via a video link. Or we order coffee at the same time or eat together.”
desire for physical contact
However, she misses the physical contact with her husband enormously. Viktoria has better and worse days. Sometimes she just wants to cry and feels a deep despair. “We’ve both changed,” she admits. “He has become stronger and more serious. He has new hobbies, new friends.’ But she herself is also dealing with major changes. Everything is new: job, acquaintances, the country. All this has an impact. “Of course the war affected the relationship, sometimes I wonder if it’s worth it.”
‘How long can you hold out? And what will the future bring us?” the 25-year-old then wonders. “But if we have a common plan and common interests, if we support each other and communicate well, then everything is bearable. We often say how cool it would be to be able to tell our grandchildren how well we did. I have no doubt that we will make it because we are too strong a couple.”
Source: Krone
I am Wallace Jones, an experienced journalist. I specialize in writing for the world section of Today Times Live. With over a decade of experience, I have developed an eye for detail when it comes to reporting on local and global stories. My passion lies in uncovering the truth through my investigative skills and creating thought-provoking content that resonates with readers worldwide.
