Sociologist and sexologist Barbara Rothmüller on the (lack of) pleasure in lust.
If you think of autoerotics as a woman hanging lasciviously on the hood and moaning to remove the foam from the shock absorbers, I’m sorry to disappoint you. Autoeroticism stands for the acquisition of pleasure without a partner, ie when one directs the sexual desire towards oneself. It is sometimes said that autoeroticism has almost magical powers: solo sex is said to promote health and sleep, increase sexual self-confidence, sharpen the sense of one’s desire and thereby also improve sex with a partner.
So people with sexual problems just need to masturbate more, right? That’s a well-intentioned suggestion. It’s just stupid that those people who are particularly dissatisfied with their sexuality feel little auto-eroticism. One in ten can’t really enjoy sex with themselves. The reasons for frustration with one’s own sexuality are numerous – research assumes, because it is not exactly known why people cannot enjoy their own lust.
For example, some feel ashamed when they feel sexual desire. Women sometimes have a negative view of masturbation. You feel good during autoerotic stimulation, but bad after orgasm. The solution to the dissatisfaction does not only lie with those affected. Those people who shame others for their lust should also change. However, if these “shamers” are in the past, you should lend a hand, so to speak. If you overcome the embarrassment, even those who aren’t attracted to “hot car wash” and a bikini car wash can become autoerotic fans.
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