Mainspring of Evil – Hate: The worst feeling

Hate. The worst human feeling. That only creates mischief in its immense destructiveness. For those who are subject to hatred. And for the haters themselves, this is Haller’s conclusion on his new book: “The Dark Passion – How hate comes and what it does to us.” Hate. A sensation that makes you sick, which always brings destruction, which can never purify. Hate. A ‘phenomenon’ that has so far hardly been investigated by psychiatrists.

When love turns to deep aversion
“Because,” as Haller knows from his decades of professional experience, “haters are hardly willing to talk about the evil in you, nor recognize it in its dimensions.” What creates hate? “Often by insult, by rejection, by disappointment.” “I hate you, I hate you, oh my God, I love you – I hate you, I hate you, oh my God, I love you.” Song by American rock singer Kurt Cobain. Can love and hate really coexist? Is it true that particularly intense love often turns into endless hatred? Haller: “The Bible says, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ “That means no more. So if you think your partner is extremely high, you usually have low self-esteem. And in the event of a breakup, there’s a risk that the previously excessive affection becomes an all-consuming aversion.”

Which creates a fatal downward spiral for the haters. “They feed on their horrible feelings, get caught up in them. In their misfortune they become more and more prisoners of their own thoughts. And at some point they even develop psychosomatic disorders.” High blood pressure, heart problems, intervertebral disc problems. How to help those affected? “With therapies. In which they slowly learn to appreciate and love themselves.” If such “reversals” do not occur, the risk of suicide is high. “The most pronounced form of hatred – against yourself. Hate. The “varieties” can be far-reaching. When the most primitive form of aggression affects entire populations. When dictators , terrorists, the blind deliberately foment hatred to gain supporters for terrible ideas The war in Ukraine currently shows “how people are being manipulated into believing they are on the right side – even though terrible things are happening in their name” .

Public executions – under applause
“Putin,” explains Haller, “styled those who were attacked as drug-addicted Nazis who absolutely had to be fought for their own protection. And according to polls, 70 percent of Russians seem to believe his false claims.” The strategy of making enemies — and thus objects of hatred — of certain individuals and ethnic groups has a long history, with shocking examples of which the psychiatrist cites public executions in his book, “which have happened in some cultures until now.” just like the terrorist attack of September 11, 2001 that killed more than 3,000 in the US The perpetrators – like their like-minded brothers – thought they were doing the right thing with their crime, so much so that they were even willing to die for their fanatical views. How is it possible to turn men and women into murderers? “By being brainwashed. Can it work for all of us? Haller’s relieved answer: “I don’t assume that.”

From victim to hater
Under what circumstances we grow up; How we are treated as children, whether we learn empathy or experience violence, ultimately plays an important role in whether we are ultimately considered destined to be “haters.” Studies have shown that a third of people are prone to this; a few of them because of changes in the brain. In the center where compassion “sits”; and in an area that can be damaged by various diseases. The widespread hatred – sometimes deeply rooted and steerable to different levels – is evident today in despicable posts on the Internet. They have increased during the pandemic. “And at the same time,” Haller says, “the willingness to attack the government during demonstrations because of the measures Corona needs, to stereotype it as an enemy, has increased.”

The psychiatrist sees the reasons for this mainly in feelings of fear. In this particular case, for fear of becoming unemployed and then socially deteriorating. For fear of loneliness. For fear of becoming unfree. “Because we must not forget that fear is a trigger for hatred.” What remains the same for all haters – regardless of their motivation – they dehumanize their victims. They make them the worst culprits. In their fanaticism, their narcissism, their hurt feelings. In their inadequacy to deal adequately with their own bad experiences.

Valuable Hate Management Tips
Are there “recipes” to beat hate; to get rid of this crushing feeling? The psychiatrist gives tips about this in his book. Those who: recognize and confess; address and name; Analyze causes – preferably with experts; sympathize with the people you hate; consider the consequences of his thoughts, his actions; looking at fellow human beings holistically; Use aggression constructively – for example to make a career; try to turn on humor; let go. Excuse me. “Because forgiving,” says Reinhard Haller, “ultimately also means finding peace with yourself.”