Pato: “I’m not the best player in the world, but I’m at peace with myself”

Alexandre Pato, we all associate that name with the Brazilian’s goal at the Camp Nou 24 seconds into the game. The one who was Golden Boy of 2009, reviewed his life in an autobiographical letter to The Players Tribunewhere he made a summary of his life in football, and how he experienced the promotion, but above all how he faced the big fall, what would become one of the great football stars.

He is currently 33 years old and playing his third season with Orlando City in the MLSafter going through São Paulo, Tianjin Tianhai, Villarreal, Chelsea, Corinthians and Milan, where he stood out as a young man of only 20 years. “I started dreaming too much. Although I am still working hard, my imagination takes me to all kinds of places. In my mind I have the Ballon d’Or in my hands. You can not avoid.”

After a great explosion after his arrival in Europe, Pato had a very irregular performance marked by injuries, which according to the press, came from the Brazilian’s lack of professionalism. “Then in 2010 I started getting injured all the time. I lost confidence in my own body. I’m afraid of what people will say about me. I go to training thinking that I can’t get injured. I was wounded but said nothing, I don’t want to let the team down. I want to please everyone. That’s one of my flaws. People expected him to score 30 goals in a season, but he couldn’t even get on the pitch. I can handle others doubting me. When the doubt comes from within? That’s different.

After standing in Milan, he returned to Brazil to try to regain his best version, but injuries continued to mentally and physically abuse the player from Rio de Janeiro. “Travel around the world. I saw all the doctors worth seeing, and several others. A guy in Atlanta hung me upside down while spinning. Diagnosis? My reflexes are not aligned with my muscles. A doctor in Germany injected me with a liquid in my back; the next day I was walking through the Munich airport bent over in pain. Another doctor stuck me with 20 needles every morning and every night. I could go on like this forever. You don’t know how much I cried, I was afraid I would never play football again.”

When he traded São Paulo for Corinthians, luck smiled on him again, he met a doctor who restored him and helped him with injuries, he had a great season scoring 26 goals and his return to Europe is approaching. Not without first putting all Corinthians fans against, as he missed a penalty in the quarterfinals of the Copa do Brasil due to a panenka-style shot. “Yes, it is a terrible punishment, I am completely to blame. He travels around São Paulo with armed bodyguards and an armored car with tear gas canisters. The fans who invaded our training camp had bats and knives. Terrible. Things happened that have no place in football.”

After that good season, in spite of the terrible end, the doors of Europe were again opened to him, and Guus Hiddink’s Chelsea emerged, another adventure that would prove disappointing. He only participated in 2 matches in half a year. “I thought Chelsea would loan me for six months and then I would sign for three years. I didn’t realize that they can say no after the loan. If only I knew? I would have gone somewhere else. It’s a shame, because I trained hard and the coach only played me twice. I never understood why.

After the course in Villarrealwhere he didn’t do a bad job, scoring 6 goals, he decided to go to China to play in tianjin tianhai, a phase that served him to mature and grow personally. “When I went to China, I broke up with my boyfriend and moved there with a friend. Why? To connect with my inner self. He never had time to look at the big picture. Now I’m like, wait… What do I want? I do not care? I started focusing on mental health and relationships. I took responsibility for all aspects of my career, the ‘grown up boy’.

But when the contract ends, the ‘child’ inside him came out again. “But then I went the wrong way. I went to Los Angeles. He wants the best hotel, the best car, the best party. I stumbled upon this place where a woman next to me was smoking coke. I suddenly thought, what am I doing here? This is not what I want. It’s an empty world.”

Situation that was the trigger for Pato to take the last step to grow as a person, realize what he likes and what he doesn’t like, and accept that this path is not his. “So I went back to Brazil and texted an old friend, Rebeca. ‘Do you want to hang out?’ We have coffee and within seconds I’m like, yeah, this is what I want. The next time I see her, she’s like, ‘Let’s go to church.’ Man, that was a revelation. The Bible had all the answers he was looking for. I turned my head to heaven and said, ‘Lord, I don’t want this life anymore.’ That day, my life changed forever.”

So after his return to São Paulo, the Brazilian played in Orlando for 3 years, knowing how to better manage emotions and become more mature with age. “Since then I lived in a different reality. When I went to Orlando and injured my knee last year, I could have crashed. The next day, I decided to come back stronger. Would my career have been different? Safe. But it’s easy to turn around and say what you should do. When you’re there, you don’t see the big picture. So, I don’t regret it. Look on the bright side, man. I’m in shape. My mental health is very good. I still love football.”

So after a star rise, a steep fall, a return to Brazil, the failed return to Europe, maturation in China, return to the party and finally stabilizing in Orlando, Alexandre Pato at 33 years old is happy. “As you get older, you realize what makes you happy. When I left home, I thought football was all I wanted. I went to Italy, England, Spain, China. I struggled, I cried, I screamed in pain. He is always alone. Maybe I wasn’t the best player in the world. But I will tell you something. I have an amazing relationship with my family. I have a wife whom I love. I am at peace with myself. In my opinion, I have a great Ballon d’Or. If life is a game, I win.”